(Prosperity - Brian S Glaser)
After searching high and low for a good financial planner and advisor, I found the perfect one on the pillow next to mine. My wife Eileen, a textile designer by day, uses good outside advice and her own quick wits to handle all fiscal matters big and small for our household. Pillow Talk is a close look at marriage, finance and communication.
We all have our guilty spending habits. Mine is music. During my young & single days, payday meant a trip to the record store, and at least 75 percent of my eBay acquisitions have been CDs, LPs and the like. But for more on that, check out my blog at http://shoulditstayorgo.blogspot.com
This sort of thing is no problem when you're on your own - it's your money, and as long as it doesn't get in the way of paying the bills and filling the cupboard or that whole responsbility thing, a little discretionary spending does no harm. But once you tie the knot, your money gets married to your spouse's, and suddenly it can be embarrassing to walk in the door with a Miles Davis box set, which you set next to your 25 other Miles discs. Anyone who's had a pricey pair of boots show up on a joint credit card statement or had to answer for the $100 bottle of wine in the recycling bin knows that it is not always comfortable to justifythe spending habits from your single life.
My financial advisor, aka my blushing bride, says there are two good ways to handle the He Spent/She Spent situation:
Have Your Own Money: This doesn't mean splitting up the cash like Laverne & Shirley running duct tape through the middle of the apartment. It means that a couple can comfortably have a trio of checking accounts: the joint account, and one for each spouse. If you can each agree on a reasonable amount to drop into the "It's My Money, Honey" accounts, then you'll each have a little bit to spend - guilt-free - on shoes, artwork, sports memorabilia, antique maps, or concert tickets.
One important note, though: just like the rest of life, you've got to split this 50/50, no matter who brings home the bigger checks. You don't count who's kicking in more for the electric bill, and it's got to be Even Steven here, too. Once you decide on a fair amount for personal spending, it must be the same for each person each month.
Know Each Other's Weakness: The other option is trickier, but also doable. In fact, it's the way we do it. Eileen knows that CDs are periodically going to show up in the mail, and she's OK with it. And I know that, although she's got a pair of brown boots, she's eventually going to need a pair of dark brown ones, too. If you and your spouse are on roughly the same page (i.e., you agree on fiscal priorities and acceptable luxuries), then you can let each other have your fun, within reason.
Our rule is to ask the other about purchases over a prearranged price ceiling. My $9.99 iTunes download is my business, but a $299 iPod has to be discussed. We set the limit at $100, but you can set one that's comfortable for you & yours. Be warned, though, that it can be tough to veto your partner's purchases--you know it's going to haunt you and your next big-ticket item.
No one system is foolproof for fools in love, but the important thing is to have a system. Each of you is going to want to drop some cash here and there, and it's important to have it worked out before the spending spree. Once you and your mate have a fiscally responsible way to let each other indulge, you'll find that you won't have to say, "I'm sorry" when the credit card bill arrives.
